The rocks under my feet were dark in color, and very unstable as we walked up the short but steep hill. We were climbing to reach the ten-foot chain link fence, beyond it would be just a short walk to the abandoned commune. The full moon and her headlamp were the only sources of light, so navigating the slope was challenging. I stumbled a bit upon reaching the top, she had already knelt down and was reaching into her backpack for the bolt cutters. I almost dropped my cigarette. I didn’t smoke often, but when I did, I did so heavily.
I braced myself on an old pine as she went to work clipping the individual links on the fence. It was too tall to climb she said, she was afraid of heights. Silly, I thought. When I rested my right hand along the pine too, I immediately fell a tug on my skin. Upon lifting my arm, it became clear that the trunk was covered in sap, and I lurched away from the tree. I couldn’t see it well, but I felt it, my back too was covered in sap. I sighed, entirely exasperated. At least it was a dark coat, but now I was sticky. She didn’t notice my misfortune; instead, she was steadily clipping away with such a focus it was like I wasn’t here. I touched another tree, perhaps a maple, and rubbed against it trying to get the bulk of the sap off. Oddly this idea worked, to a certain extent. I was still sticky, but I’d gotten the bulk of the sap off. My cigarette was swishing around during all this, ashes falling to the ground as a good centimeter of it burned without being smoked. I looked at the little stubby thing, small in my boney fingers. I shook my head, and then took a drag. The smoke filled my lungs, and my irritation subsided. I pulled it from my lips and left it to dangle down by my side.
“I’ve got it!” she exclaimed. She turned around, absolutely beaming with two hands gripping the handles of the bolt cutters.
“Did ya see Elena? I did it babe!” she dropped the cutters and pulled on the fence, she’d cut a section big enough to pull at and slip through, even my clunky frame.
“Nice Miriam, good job” I sighed, trying to let go of my remaining annoyance. Miriam was so happy, and I shouldn’t let my mishap ruin her mood. She frowned though, at my sigh, noticing my annoyance,
“What’s wrong?” she asked, concerned.
“It’s nothing, I just got some sap on me, my clothes, it’s fine. Just annoying.” I sighed again, hoping each little pressured exhalation would expel the negativity I felt. Miriam stood up, letting the fence go. It clanged enough to make us both jump, I didn’t realize that the world around was completely silent until that moment. The hill overlooked a bog and was surrounded by forest. This time of year, all you could hear was the constant hum of bugs and wildlife, summers end on the east coast. But it was silent besides the quieting metal reverberation.
“I’m sorry honey.” She said as she reached out to me, I pulled back my right arm and lifted my left over her shoulder, she had come in for an embrace.
“Mind the coat, it’s covered too.” I reminded her. She had slid her arms under my coat and around my waist, resting her head on my collarbone. I was tall, she was short, she fit perfectly in my coat. If I wanted, I could zip it up with her inside, I would have liked that instead of going on this little thrill hunt. It was as if she read my mind though, because she then stood on her tippy toes to whisper in my ear.
“Let’s go see this for ourselves and then I can get you home, get you all cleaned up, out of those clothes…” she teased as she kissed my neck. Before the goosebumps could rise on my skin, she had peeled herself off me and spun around, gripping the cut fence, the makeshift door. I sighed again, and it was all I could do.
“You’re a tease you know…” I rolled my eyes and took a drag of my smoke. My eyes rested on her back, her short brown hair exposing the nape of her neck.
“Yep, and I’ve got you wrapped around my little finger. Now let’s go!” she exclaimed as she lifted the cut section and slipped through the opening. It clanged again behind her, reminding me once more that it was entirely silent in the forest surrounding us. It was unusually quiet; it was the kind of quiet that set you on edge. All I could hear was the quieting reverberation of the fence, my breathing, Miriam stepping across little pebbles on the other side of the fence. It shouldn’t be so quiet. I crouched my tall, gaunt frame and shimmied through the opening, being careful to gently move the fence back, to avoid the sound. I stood up and looked at Miriam, she was adjusting her headlamp and confirming her camera was on.
“Okay, camera one recording. You ready for yours, baby?” she asked, holding up her second headlamp, camera setup. I nodded, not super thrilled about recording stuff but grateful for my own source of light. I leaned down so she could reach my head. She adjusted the strap, and then placed it on my head. My bangs got pressed to my forehead, and this amuses her. I’m certain they look goofy, a centimeter or two of them jutting out from the strap like I just put them in an eyelash curler. She giggled a bit and caressed my cheek,
“Okay, camera two recording. Let’s go!” and with that she spun around and began marching forward. I stepped along with her, branches crunching under foot. My attention was on her, no longer on the silence, which perhaps should be commanding more of my attention. It was hard though to feel uneasy as I watched her sway with each step, it was like every day. She led the way, I followed, watching her skirt blow about, or her hair bounce behind her. At school, in the market, on a hike, through a crowd, wherever she went, I followed my little starling. It was my nickname for her, her favorite bird, and her online handle. Iridescent, beautiful little things,
but invasive in here in the U.S. She was sort of that way too, the way she invaded my life and put down roots in my soul. Once there she spread boundlessly. She got me into trouble, and out of it, she brought color to my life, but when it rained it poured like a monsoon. Today was a good day, she was thrilled I said yes to this little nighttime hike.
We were headed towards this abandoned commune. It was full of rotten old houses from the seventies, left to rot by the local cult group who all disappeared thirty years ago. Cameron Armaros, the thirty-four-year-old head of the cult was a grad student studying religion. Ironic really, his name and the nature of his demise. He probably had some common name, like Baker, or Smith, or Brown. He read the name of a fallen angel and felt in his heart of hearts that that was his true name. I rolled my eyes at the thought of how insufferable this man must have been. He was supposedly burned at the stake, willingly, in the middle of his little settlement by his followers. At least, that’s the story. They found a man’s burned corpse nailed up on a cross like Jesus himself, and all the commune inhabitants were gone without a trace. Their cars were still there, furniture, clothes, everyone was gone, and everything was left behind. There was no definitive proof it was Armaros on the cross, it was the 70’s and forensics was not a perfect science. They would have kept his body I’m sure, samples or whatever for later advancements in the field, but what’s even spookier, his body went missing. The morgue was broken into, and his body was snatched without a trace. My mental gears began turning at that thought, who could have done that? Was it even this Armaros guy, the body? Where did all the people go? Suddenly Miriam’s voice cut through the silence and the meanderings of my mind.
“Elena! Are you even hearing me? We’re almost there, watch your step. I’m gonna start my narration. So just please don’t talk and stay quiet, okay?” Miriam said a bit irritated, I got a bit lost in my thoughts, I had nearly collided with her.
“We’re getting close. The little square and some homes should be just through this garden” Miriam remarked as she took a deep breath and adjusted her head lamp camera one more time.
“Welcome back starlings, it’s Miriam here about to take you on another spooky saunter. This time into the cult town of Armaros. It’s said that here Cameron Armaros…” I stopped paying attention to her speaking. She stopped and looked around narrating the scene. We were at the gates of their garden, orchard place. Their attempt at sustainability and sophistication, with all the rose bushes and apple trees. It was overgrown now, wild thorny roses, several rotting apples below crisp, shiny ones, their branches wild and abundant. I stood in place for a moment as she fiddled with the gate and looked out over the garden. I could smell the roses from here, but not for long as I pulled another cigarette to my lips. I lit it and breathed in, following Miriam through the gate. We walked, she talked, I smoked. Besides her voice, it was still quiet. I kept coming back to it because it was odd to me, the forest at summer’s end shouldn’t be quiet. Coyotes, birds, small critters, something. Maybe the forest was quiet, maybe I was just on edge, maybe I was just nicotine sick. These creepy wrought iron fences, the apple trees sagging under the weight of their strangely dark fruit, why were they so dark? Miriam had walked further along the barely visible brick path; I stopped then to examine the strangely dark apple. I held the cigarette between my lips, pulling both hands up to check out these apples. They were black, unlike any apple I’d ever seen at the grocery store. Its sooty flesh looked painted, glimmering and startling. I breathed in my smoke, and then pulled the apple off the branch and it snapped back. I held it in one hand, grabbing my cig from my mouth with another. As I exhaled the smoke billowed around the odd pome, like a spooky animation of a witch cursing whoever took a bite. I thought to bite it myself but resisted the urge. I turned and began walking to Miriam, fruit in hand. By the time I reached her it became clear she had already noticed it, she had another in her hand and was chattering off about it for the camera.
“Arkansas black, Cameron’s favorite fruit. A tart, yet sweet variety known for its entrancing dark flesh. It’s said Cameron was quite a baker! Anyway…” she set off walking again, letting the apple roll off her hand onto the brick. Thud. I walked past it, following her. I kept hold of my apple though, seems a bit of waste to just leave it to rot. On the way back I could stuff a bunch in my pack, maybe I could bake a pie.
We advanced through the grove, and into the rose section of the garden. They were terribly overgrown, abundant with flowers but wild and reaching out onto the path. I could see the silhouettes of houses in the distance, just beyond the last ring of rose bushes. Miriam was well past that last ring, and was talking again, more about the town and its people.
“Cameron built this town with Daddy’s money you see, he died and Cam got it all being the only child of a small time textile tycoon. He built thirty-seven small homes, and we’re just about to come upon them. We, you might wonder? Oh, it’s just me and my beautiful girlfriend, say hi babe!” she called out to me, shining her light in my eyes even at her distance away from me. I squinted and waved, cigarette in hand.
“Ain’t she gorgeous? Ugh! Okay, let’s check out these houses, though I know you’re all waiting for us to come upon the square…” she prattled off some more. I shook my head and kept walking along. The roses around me were sort of creepy, the leaves were spotted with what looked like little dark holes. Brown, spotty, wilting sort of. Not all of them looked like this, but perhaps some were diseased. The roses were a deep crimson, and I brushed against the bushes with my coat. A thorn caught it, but when I yanked it away it took the limb with it. Not only did I have some petals, and leaves stuck to my sap covered coat now, but some thorns too would prove
to be a bit hazardous. I stuffed the apple into my backpack side pocket, and I picked each little piece of the rose bush off myself as I walked. My cigarette hung from my lips again as I needed a free hand to clean off my left side. Little bits of ash fell off the end.
“Ouch!” I hissed, a thorn had found itself buried in my thumb. Miriam didn’t notice, she was getting smaller in the distance. The silence surrounded me again, it was really starting to bother me now, with my mounting tension and pain. I cleared off the bulk of the plant from my coat and took my cigarette back into my fingers. With it pinched between my left middle and ring finger, I used my left index and thumb to pull out the thorn from my right thumb. It came out with a pop, the blood pooled out, the little prick growing bigger and bigger. I watched it swell, and turned it upside down, the red bead fell onto the ground near the rose bushes. I stared at that spot with my headlamp, and in a moment, the blood seemed to be sucked into the earth. My heart stopped as it disappeared and my breath caught in my throat; I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The only sound then was my heart suddenly beating back to life and pounding in my ear. I stared at the rose bushes, then all around, everything at that moment seemed alive and intent on me. Why was it so quiet? More of my ashes fell to the ground and I pulled my trembling hand to my lips and breathed in the smoke. Something is wrong here, this place, we shouldn’t be here.
“Elena! Keep up!” Miriam called, snapping me back to reality. I just got poked by a thorn, my jacket was sticky from the sap, the garden was simply overgrown. It wasn’t trying to swallow me up, it wasn’t doing anything at all. I was simply too stimulated by my own thoughts and lack of background noise. I shook my head and ran out of the garden, towards Miriam and into the little village.
“Miriam, I cut myself, do you got a band aid?” I asked a bit breathlessly. Miriam stopped in her tracks and fluttered over to me. She looked very cute, all concerned. She shuffled through her bag and pulled out a band aid, wrapping it gently around my thumb.
“What’d you do, fight with one of the bushes?” Miriam teased.
“Well, I was getting a rose for you. But it proved too perilous…” I sighed dramatically, trying to shake off my nerves.
“Ever so brave of you to try…” she whispered, kissing my thumb and then my cheek. She hesitated for a moment there, and I had to lean away slightly and close my eyes,
“The light Miriam – “ but before I could said another word she covered the light with her hand and pulled me down with her other. She kissed my lips very gently, so soft, very tenderly. I relaxed with her palm at the back of my neck, I just knew she was standing on the tips of her toes. We held that embrace for a moment, but then she pulled away, uncovering the lamp by moving her hand. It blinded me again,
“Geez!” I shied away from the light again.
“Sorry babe, but I just had to. And sorry too to you all, sometimes you just got to have a little PDA. We’re here and we’re queer, get used to it!” she cackled as she began walking again. I simply shook my head, lit another cigarette, and followed chuckling a bit to myself. She never lets me get bored.
But still, even with her excitement, I felt dread as we passed by the first of the houses. Broken windows, spray tags, some had clearly seen fire before. She talked, I didn’t listen too intently, I was too worried about our surroundings. It was quiet, it definitely was creepy, and I just couldn’t shake this feeling. I couldn’t name this dread until we walked past a house with a
large glass door, still intact. In the glass I could see our reflection, Miriam marched along, and I shuffled in suit, passing by the mirror like glass. I slowed my pace in front of the last glass pane. I was tall, lanky, gaunt, I looked like I belonged here and was the one who wanted to come. That was all Miriam though. I stared at my reflection, and then at the reflection of the tree line behind me. The shadows weren’t sharply in focus, it wasn’t a perfect mirror, the moon only provided some much light. My headlamp outshone my face. But still, my eyes were glued to the tree line above my shoulder, I couldn’t look away. But then, I saw a shadow move behind my head. My blood went cold, and I whipped around. Along the tree line I saw no trace of this shadow. I squinted, breathing heavily, my heart racing, but nothing was there. A trick of the light, of the mind, but I had a phrase for this feeling now. I didn’t feel we were alone here.
“Miriam. Miriam! I think we should leave…” I called to her, jumping into movement towards her. She kept walking, still talking to her followers. We had come upon the square now, in the center of it was where the burning cross once burned. The brick encircled it, various buildings encircled that. Miriam kept walking ahead, headed towards the center where Armaros burned.
“Miriam!” I called, louder this time. “What! What is it?” she called back annoyed.
Suddenly I heard a branch break behind me, it’s snapping jolted me, Miriam didn’t seem to notice.
“Can’t you see that I’m in the middle of this. Sorry guys, but you know lesbians fight too! Not all sunshine and rainbows” she laughed to herself, turning away from me.
Before I could say another word the sound of glass shattering rang out like a gun shot. This got Miriams attention.
“Did you do that?” Miriam asked sheepishly.
“No.” I said with my voice low, closing the distance between us. “We need to leave, something is wrong. Ever since we entered the garden, I’ve had this feeling, and just now I saw something, someone in the reflection of the glass. I’m not trying to freak you out, but I don’t think we’re alone and I’m not trying to make any new friends out here” I said low, my head on a swivel. Miriam looked upset, she still had more to shoot, but before she could protest, we heard a howling. The silence had been sliced through by a blood curdling howl turned screech. It rang through their ears down into the very marrow of their bones.
“Okay” Miriam laughed uneasily, “guy it looks like we’re going to have to cut it short this time, maybe we’ll – “before she could finished the sound of more glass shattering rang out. I gripped her hand and pulled her from her frozen stance, and we ran.
Through the town circle we ran, past the houses, past the glass door, into the garden and to its back gate. We stopped there to gather ourselves for a moment. I lost my cigarette somewhere along the way, Miram was panting next to me.
“I haven’t seen anyone, maybe, maybe we’re just freaked out. You’re on edge, you really smoke too much” Miriam said, trembling a bit. I stood over her as she leaned into my chest catching her breath, her arms bent upwards, curled up, and pressed against me. My eyes searched every corner of the garden. It was silent again, and I was on high alert. The apple trees were still, the roses too, I was tense. I had to get her out here, we had only a short run to the fence. I could see it from here, vaguely. It was lightly forested, but it was a straight shot.
“Miriam, we’re going to run again. Straight to the fence. You go through first. I’ll stand watch and you can watch once I get through. Then it’s straight to my car, okay?” I said in a stony tone, there’d be no arguing or protest, Miriam nodded.
“Okay…” I said, stepping past her and opening the gate. It creaked, rusty and bent. I shuddered at the sound, pausing. I looked back into the garden and at the end of the path on the other side I saw something, a tall shadow, moving under the moonlight.
“Go now!” I exclaimed. She ran and I followed, the air wasn’t silent anymore. The rocks and branches crunching under our feet, our labored breathing, the wind howling through our ears. Suddenly another sound, the clanging of the fence. Miriam reached it and pulled it open, stopping to look back at me. “Go, go, go!” I hurried her along. She slipped through, and held it open for me. “Come on, come on!” she cried, visibly shaking.
I slipped through and spun around, Miriam was adjusting her pack and gathering the bolt cutters she left leaning against the fence.
“Elena let’s go, your car isn’t far, oh shit!” she hissed as her headlamp fell to the ground and the light went out. She frantically searched the dark ground; I stared back towards the garden. The sound of that garden gate creaking commanded my attention. There was a mass of dark figures at the gate, I could only see their silhouettes. One stood in front of the gate, taking a step out, the moon over their shoulder. His shoulder, it seemed a man. He knelt down, searching the ground too.
“Got it, where are your keys?” Miriam’s light turned back on. I gave her my bag, implying she was to look in it. I couldn’t take my eyes off the man; she didn’t notice him or the rest and that was for the best. Miriam snatched it from my hands and began to dig. The figure had stood back up, pulling a hand to his face. He held it there, and I held my breath. Suddenly an orange burned light came from the center of his face. My cigarette. I exhaled and smoke billowed around his shadow.
“I got it!” Miriam jumped up. She grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the fence. I stole one last glance, and the man was taking another drag, an orange glow again. I couldn’t see his face, but I knew he was smiling.